Does anyone still use xanga?! Let me know if you do!!

It's an interesting experience reading one's old posts - seeing the things that were SO important years ago; seeing where your heart was. Sometimes that can be embarassing. Sometimes that can be humbling. But one things never changes: the saving and redeeming grace of God, grace that is so amazing, grace that I need every day. I need it as much today as I did all those years ago. And, fortunately, it is as available today as it was then. Praise God for His faithfulness!

But he gives more grace.  ~James 4:6

So, things have been really tough lately, and I haven't been able to put my thoughts and feelings into words -- until now. Ladies and gentlemen, Psalm 51 -- my prayer, as well as David's.

Have mercy on me, O God,
       according to your unfailing love;
       according to your great compassion
       blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
       and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
       and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
       and done what is evil in your sight,
       so that you are proved right when you speak
       and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
       sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
       you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
       wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
       let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
       and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
       and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence
       or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
       and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
       and sinners will turn back to you.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
       the God who saves me,
       and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,
       and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
       you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
       a broken and contrite heart,
       O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
       build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
       whole burnt offerings to delight you;
       then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Pastor Doug preached a really good sermon on the Kingdom of God tonight at Bottom Line. He talked about how when Jesus was on the earth, He provided a glimpse, a preview, of what the Kingdom of God would be like one day. No Satan. No Sin. No Death. Everyone loving like they should, like they were created to love. He talked about how when people see us in our day-to-day lives, they should see that same glimpse -- a glimpse of heaven. And the joy that should come with knowing that the world will not always be as it is now! The victory that Christ won at the Cross of Calvary will one day be realized in a world redeemed, free of sin, in perfect fellowship with the God that made it. And if you've put your faith in Jesus Christ and acknowledge him as your Savior and Lord, you will be a part of that new heaven and new earth!

It's so easy to be sucked into the world's way of thinking, to find yourself checking yourself on society's values and standards. "Compared to everyone else I know, I'm being quite reasonable!" or "Most roommates wouldn't even be as understanding as I've been!" Always be wary when you find yourself defending your actions to yourself. We are called to be set apart, and our standard is not worldly, but the perfect standard of a holy God. The kingdom of heaven is near! It is a hope in a future glory, but it can also be lived out here and now, if I am willing to obey and let my Lord live through me.

Oftentimes I find myself looking around at the sin and depravity of this world, and wondering, why am I here? I don't belong here. My citizenship is in heaven. I look at the dirtyness around me, and the dirtyness inside of me, and  I long for the day when satan, and sin, and death will be no more. But I do have a purpose here! God saved me from the depths of my sin so that my life would give people a glimpse of the grace and power of God, and what is in store for all those who put their faith in Him. What a weighty responsibility, but at the same time, what a joy!

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.    ~Matthew 5:16

When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.    ~I Corinthians 15:54-57